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I'm in a Fallen World and I Can't Get Up!
Created on 2004-11-06 19:49:27 (#5057438), last updated 2005-03-14
327 comments received, 333 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
131 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 3 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | crateobscure |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 11-07 |
| Location: | Boston, Massachusetts, United States |
BioWhat? You want to know who I am? Oh, gosh, I could go on and on, but I'll just go with the highlights. I was born in Hartford, CT but moved to Massachusetts after only a year or two I think. It was hard to organize a move at that age, but to be honest, I've never been able to remember that.
Fast forward to college where I was diagnosed with clinical depression. But then again, who hasn't? I don't dwell on it, but it was a pivotal moment.
I was raised nominally Jewish but for a number of reasons I wont go into that religion just never took. So I got interested in New Age, occultism and Eastern religions. Those didn't take either, so I became an atheist and I also became very angry.
I had a religious experience of sorts while I was in Paris at Notre Dame in the late Fall of 2001. I became a Christian shortly thereafter much to the dismay of my friends and family. My family stood by me despite this and I discovered which of my friends were really my friends because they stood by me, too. The others, well, I can't say I don't miss them, but maybe it's for the best that they are gone.
Things weren't all easy schmeezey after that, though. I went through a serious spiritual crisis recently which a dear friend of mine called a "Spiritual coma". Perhaps it was more like a Spiritual Seizure which sent me tumbling down some bad paths.
Anyway, I'm back on track and I think I'm a better Christian than I was before because I discovered the need to be honest. I was never honest with people about my struggles and so no one was there when I needed them. I always needed to be the rock, the person people came to when they were hurt or down and I couldn't let people know that I was sometimes hurt and down.
So, here we are. I'm hurt yet hopeful. I hope to hear from you, even if it is just to tell me I'm a fool or that all my beliefs are worthless or that I'm pathetic. I've heard it all before and I still love you. Yes, you! I love you.
Fast forward to college where I was diagnosed with clinical depression. But then again, who hasn't? I don't dwell on it, but it was a pivotal moment.
I was raised nominally Jewish but for a number of reasons I wont go into that religion just never took. So I got interested in New Age, occultism and Eastern religions. Those didn't take either, so I became an atheist and I also became very angry.
I had a religious experience of sorts while I was in Paris at Notre Dame in the late Fall of 2001. I became a Christian shortly thereafter much to the dismay of my friends and family. My family stood by me despite this and I discovered which of my friends were really my friends because they stood by me, too. The others, well, I can't say I don't miss them, but maybe it's for the best that they are gone.
Things weren't all easy schmeezey after that, though. I went through a serious spiritual crisis recently which a dear friend of mine called a "Spiritual coma". Perhaps it was more like a Spiritual Seizure which sent me tumbling down some bad paths.
Anyway, I'm back on track and I think I'm a better Christian than I was before because I discovered the need to be honest. I was never honest with people about my struggles and so no one was there when I needed them. I always needed to be the rock, the person people came to when they were hurt or down and I couldn't let people know that I was sometimes hurt and down.
So, here we are. I'm hurt yet hopeful. I hope to hear from you, even if it is just to tell me I'm a fool or that all my beliefs are worthless or that I'm pathetic. I've heard it all before and I still love you. Yes, you! I love you.
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abstinence, aimee mann, alison krauss, anne sexton, atheism, bad religion, baptism, beer, being humble, benjamin gibbard, bible, bible study, boats, boston, bringing glory to god, brotherly love, cats, cats named smitey, character, chastity, christ, christianity, church, coffee, communion, compassion, counseling others, craig's brother, crucifixion, darren aronofsky, dashboard confessional, david bowie, death cab for cutie, dogs, dopamine molecule, dunkin donuts, edgar allen poe, elliott smith, encouragement, explosions in the sky, faith, fear of god, fellowship, fiber, friends, geeks, german wheat beer, gillian welch, god, god the father, god's word, going to church, gospels, grace, guarding your heart, happiness, hating anything pretentious, healing, heather, heaven, hemingway, holy spirit, hot coffee, ipod, iron and wine, irony, jars of clay, jen, jesus, jesus christ, jews for jesus, jill tracy, johnny cash, joy, kindness, liberalism, living end, london, long interest lists, love, magnolia, mary timony, mcsweeney's, mewithoutyou, mexican food, mexico, my cat, neutral milk hotel, new york city, nick drake, not using drugs, paris, patsy cline, pentecostals, philosophy, praise and worship, prayer, proverbs, psalms, psychiatry, psychology, psychopharmacology, punk, puns, puppies, radiohead, reading, resurrection, righteousness, sacrifice, scripture, sean, seeking god, serendipity, shawn colvin, singing off-key, spirituality, star trek, starbucks addiction, stefanie, sufjan stevens, sylvia plath, the beatles, the believer, the cardigans, the decemberists, the dresden dolls, the holy spirit, the luxury of sleep, the ocean, the postal service, the shadow, theology, thorn in my flesh, tom, trinity, tv on the radio, william s. burroughs, william shatner, wine, wisdom, worship, writing, zombie movies, zombies
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